This week we have an excerpt from "The Parent You Want to Be" by Drs.
Les and Leslie Parrott. It focuses on the role of prayer in a parent's
life, and we think it'll be insightful for you.
HOW TO BECOME A PRAYERFUL PARENT
According to the latest survey from the Barna Research Group, about
two out of three parents of children under age twelve attend religious
services at least once a month and generally take their children with
them. However, the survey of 1,010 adults found that most parents have
no plan for the spiritual development of their children and have little
or no training in how to nurture a child's faith.
In other words, most parents are willing to let their church
provide all of their children's spiritual training. But not prayerful
parents. While they may place high value on what the church can provide
for their child, they know that practicing the presence of God at home
requires far more than what the church can offer.
So what do prayerful parents do? Let's take a look.
PRAYERFUL PARENTS TEACH THEIR CHILDREN HOW TO HEAR GOD
"What do you think God is saying to you, Jackson?" We asked our
three-year-old this question during a recent car trip after he told us
that he prayed God would bring him some new toys.
Jackson was quiet for a moment and then said, "I think he's going to call you."
It's tough for a little one to understand how God communicates with
us, isn't it? As a three-year-old, our son half expects God to ring us
up on the phone. But truth be told, we can help children of any age
tune their ears to God's voice. We just need to let them know what his
voice sounds like.
For example, we can teach our kids how to listen to that small
inner voice. We can teach them that God sometimes speaks through other
people. The Bible tells us that Jesus was "moved with compassion" for
people. This compassion is one of the clearest indications that God is
talking to us. What else does the voice of God sound like? How do you
experience his voice? It's an important question to answer, because
your child needs your help to understand.
Consider the boy whose father leans over during a symphony
orchestra concert and whispers to him, "Listen for the flutes in this
song. Don't they sound beautiful?" The child, unable to distinguish the
flutes, looks up at his father quizzically. "What flutes, Father?"
The child needs to learn what flutes sound like on their own,
separate from the rest of the orchestra, before he is able to hear them
in a symphony. So it is when we listen for God. Unless we teach our
children to hear God's voice in the quiet moments of life, they will
not be able to hear God in the symphony sounds of life.
So when God speaks to you, consider letting your child in on the
conversation. Explain to your child that prayer is more than talking;
it's also listening.
PRAYERFUL PARENTS TALK ABOUT WHAT THEY BELIEVE
We tend to believe that actions speak louder than words. But
according to a recent study by Purdue University, words are just as
mighty as deeds when it comes to passing on our religious beliefs to
our children. The study, which appeared in a recent issue of the
Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, found that children were
more likely to adopt their parents' beliefs when they had a clear
understanding of what the parents believed.
This means that if you want your child to embrace a relationship
with God through prayer, you not only need to pray but also need to
talk about prayer and why it matters. You not only need to attend
church but also need to talk about why church is important.
Lynn Okagaki, who conducted the study, is a professor of child
development and family studies at Purdue. She queried fifty-eight
female students and thirty-six male students between the ages of
eighteen and twenty-five. "We found the accuracy of a child's
perception of a parent's beliefs is affected by all of the things that
a parent does," she explains. Such things, for example, include taking
the time to explain our beliefs and encouraging our kids to participate
in activities that we think support those beliefs. God never ceases to
speak to us, but the noise of the world without and the tumult of our
passions within bewilder us and prevent us from listening to Him.
No wonder Moses instructed the Israelites to talk about the Ten
Commandments with their children when they got up in the morning, as
they went about their daily routines, and when they went to bed at
night. In contrast to the popular proverb, actions don't necessarily
speak louder than words. Not only do we need to walk our walk; we need
to talk about it as well.
FOR DISCUSSION
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rank the importance of being a prayerful parent? Why?
2. On that same scale, how would you rank your natural inclination to practice the presence of God with your child?
3. In specific terms, when are you most likely to demonstrate
spiritual awareness and prayerfulness with your child? Name the times
or conditions.
4. When is the next time you are likely to have an opportunity to
demonstrate spiritual sensitivity with your child? What can you do now
to maximize the opportunity?
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Excerpt from "The Parent You Want to Be" by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, copyright 2007, Zondervan. Used with permission.
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